A Comedy of Errors

juciest @ 2009-07-22T18:54:00

2009-07-22T23:56:22Z

My darling husband Joe ~8/5/60-7/22/02~ I will miss you and love you always.

juciest @ 2009-07-21T09:56:00

2009-07-21T14:57:45Z

Heroism at it's finest.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/07/21/wi.car.fire.rescue.amateur

For thirteenrocks...

2009-03-24T17:33:47Z

I thought of you today...

I was reading the surg path report on my patient who is s/p open chole...she had 13 stones.

:P

At least someone thought of you today!

Luv ya!!!

The Story of Oogy

2009-02-20T03:09:19Z

Sorry it's so big...I couldn't get the cut to work.

OOGY. :)))

When Oogy was four months old and weighed thirty five pounds he was tied to a stake and used as bait for a Pit Bull. The left side of his face from just behind his eye was torn off, including his ear. He was bitten so hard a piece of his jaw bone was crushed. Afterward, he was thrown into a cage and left to bleed to death.

I am not a religious man, but I can only conclude that at that moment God turned around and paid attention. The police raided the facility, found Oogy, and took him to Ardmore Animal Hospital , where Dr. Bianco stitched him up and saved him.

This coincided with the last weekend of life for our cat, Buzzy, who was 14 at the time. My sons and I had taken Buzzy to AAH for his last visit. The staff had gathered Buzzy in when out comes this pup that looked like nothing more than a gargoyle. He covered us with kisses. The boys and I fell instantly in love with him.

Life goes out one door and in another. "This is one of the happiest dogs I've ever met" Dr. Bianco said. "I can't imagine what he'd be like if half his face hadn't been ripped off." Then, Dr. B said, "I am not going to tell you the things this dog has been through". Dr. B's assistant, Diane, took Oogy into her home for several weeks to foster him and make sure he was safe and to crate-train him.

Once Oogy came into our house, for my sons, then 12, it was like having a little brother. Whatever they did and wherever they went, there was Oogy. Oogy had to get involved in whatever the lads were doing. He became known as The Third Twin.

Dr. B thought Oogy was a Pit or Pit-mix and would get to be about 45 pounds. By the time of his first checkup, Oogy weighed 70 pounds. When we walked in the door for the visit, one of the women who works at AAH exclaimed, "That's a Dogo!" I asked, "What's a Dogo?" She said, "I'm not sure."

We went on line and learned that the Dogo Argentina is bred in Argentina to hunt mountain lion and boar. Oogy can run about 30 miles an hour, all four legs off the ground like a Greyhound. His leg muscles are so strong that, when he sits, his butt is a half-inch off the ground. Dogos hunt in packs. Dogos hurl themselves against their prey and swarm it.

Oogy has a neck like a fire hydrant to protect him when he closes on his prey. He is built like a Pit Bull on steroids, with white fur as soft as butter and black freckles. Fully grown, Oogy is 85 pounds of solid muscle, but he does not know this and sits on us. He absolutely craves physical contact. He is full of kisses and chuffs like a steam engine when he is happy. He has a heart as big as all outdoors. One of the traits of the breed is that they fully accept anyone their family does. It is not unusual to come home and find three teenagers on the floor playing a video game and Oogy sprawled across their laps like some living boa.

Oogy hated the crate, and would bark and bark whenever we put him in. This puzzled me because I had been told by people with crate-trained dogs that their pets love the crate and feel secure in its confines. When Oogy was about eight months old, we hired a trainer who also happened to be an animal "whisperer". We introduced her to Oogy and she sat on the floor for a full five minutes talking to him. We could not hear a word she said. When the trainer lifted her head her eyes were brimming with tears. "Oogy wants you to know" she said "how much he appreciates the love and respect you have shown him." Then she asked about his routine. I started by showing her where he slept in the crate. She said immediately, "You have to get him out of that box". "Why?" "Because he associates being in a box with having his ear ripped off." It was a smack-myself-in-the-forehead moment. Oogy never went back in.

Given what Oogy endured and what he is bred for, people are constantly astonished that he loves animals and people as much as he does. Walking with Oogy is like walking with a mayoral candidate. He has to meet everyone. A number of people we encountered in the neighborhood early on told me they were afraid of Oogy because when they would walk or jog by the house, Oogy would bark at them and trot parallel to them, and given his size and looks... But everyone falls in love with Oogy. By the end of their initial encounter they are rubbing, petting, even kissing him on the nose. Oogy kisses them back. Because of the way he looks, when people meet him for the first time they almost always ask if he is safe. I tell them, "Well, he has licked two people to death."

For the first year and a half of his life, part of Oogy's face was normal and the other part looked like a burn victim's. People who saw him in passing could not grasp the duality. As Oogy grew, the scar tissue spread. He could not close his left eye, so it wept constantly; his lip was pulled up and back. Dr. B said Oogy was in constant pain. So, in January 2005, Dr. B. rebuilt Oogy's face. When all the scar tissue was removed, there was a hole in Oogy's head the size of a softball. After removing the scar tissue, Dr. B took grafts and pulled the flaps together and sewed Oogy back up. Now Oogy has a hairline scar, but other than that looks just like any normal one-eared dog.

An essential part of this story is the fact that AAH has never taken a dime in payment for anything they have done for Oogy. I never asked them for such an arrangement. When I went to pay the first bill I was told, "Oogy's a no-pay." I never asked why this is. Oogy is their dog. We are just lucky enough to look after him.

Because some of his jaw bone was removed in the initial surgery, some of Oogy's lower left lip droops and a repository for dust and dirt. It is second nature to us to pull the detritus off his lip when we sit next to him. One day I told my sons that when they tell their children about Oogy, they will remember this routine act of kindness. I think that, on some level, every day we try to atone for what happened to him.

Last summer Oogy had ACL surgery; his body ultimately rejected the steel plates and developed an infection so his leg had to be opened up a second time and the plates removed. When I went to pick him up following the second surgery, the Technician who brought Oogy out said, "This is a great dog, I really love him." I said, "Yep, we're lucky to have him". The Tech looked at me and said, "No, you don't understand. I see hundreds of dogs each week, and every once in awhile there is a special one. And you have him."

When I related that story to Dr. B he said, "But we already knew that."

Oogy's name is a derivative. The first day I was told we could adopt him I was thinking, "This is one ugly dog." But we couldn't call him "Ugly." Then I went to a variation of that from my youth, "Oogly," and his name followed immediately. Two years after we named him we learned that Oogy is the name of the Ghost Dog in the film, "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
This is not inappropriate.

On a recent Saturday afternoon Oogy was curled up on the couch asleep, his head in my lap, and I was thinking about his life is now as opposed to the way his life had been before. Would he have sensed he was dying? Was he conscious when the police put him on a rubber sheet and took him to the Ardmore Animal Hospital ? Oogy went to sleep in a world of terror and searing pain and awoke surrounded by angels in white coats who were k ind to him, who stroked him gently and talked softly to him. Instead of people who baited and beat and kicked him, he was surrounded with healing mercies.
I realized then that Oogy probably did not know he had not died and gone to heaven. So I told him. I said, "Listen pal. It only gets better after this."

This incredible dog now lives on the Main Line with his adoptive family, Larry and Jennifer and their twin sons, Noah and Dan. Noah and Dan are pictured here in the above photograph with Oogy. Main Line Animal Rescue would like to thank Larry, Oogy's proud father, for sharing his story and helping us educate people to the horrors of dog fighting.

Meme Day

2009-02-13T14:23:46Z

Take The Elemental Test at HelloQuizzy

</div>

Gank-a-meme

2009-02-13T14:08:37Z

Swiped from jeribearrn .

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

</div>

QOTD

2009-01-22T13:53:47Z

"We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."
- Tom Stoppard

juciest @ 2008-11-26T08:29:00

2008-11-26T14:51:53Z

I have realized lately that several people have deleted me from their flists. I don't know why, they give no explanation. Well, yes, after looking stupid and asking, I got two replies; one, "I thought you had left LJ" and two, "I don't have time for all the journals". Others that I felt inclined to ask couldn't be bothered to reply. I thought "I care" about why these people chose to leave...but I shouldn't . At first I thought maybe it was because of my responses to others' political leanings and the political bashing that continued on well past the elections. I got tired of it and decided to make the statement that I was tired of it. If you can't accept that I have my own opinion, then you don't need to be on my list. I'm not a blue blood Democrat, nor am I a red blood Republican. I don't hold any else's political leanings (or complete submergence in politics as the case may occasionally be) against them and couldn't figure out why anyone would really hold mine against me. But oh well. I don't really care any longer. Keep me, delete me...whatever. I'll just delete you back. Nyah.

I considered having a 'friending frenzy', but then thought better of it. Maybe someday. I'm just not at a good time in my life right now to be accepting of people, especially when so few are accepting of me.

Update on the crap in my life...fire damage still not repaired, still trying to find a contractor to come and give me an estimate. Layoffs complete, and I really no longer want to be a nurse any longer. Doctors are all a bunch of retarded idiots and nurses are a bunch of backstabbing bitches. For the stupid men who always ask stupid questions, NO, I'm not dating anyone and really have no inclination to date anyone. Do not ask me my opinion on men right now, because if you're a man, you will not like it. I'm supposed to go to Houston today to fill out paperwork for a job I really don't want, it's cold, my shoulder and my leg hurt, and I have to start cooking for tomorrow. I'm not in the mood for a drive to NW Houston in pre-holiday traffic and I really hate Houston anyway.

I think I'll go back to bed.

More stupidity from stupidpetowners

2008-11-12T20:28:25Z

lmao...what a bunch of fucktards.

http://community.livejournal.com/stupidpetowners/3199891.html

It's a bitchfest a minute! These people troll craigslist and other giveaway sites, PHOTO sites, blogs, etc., looking for people to degrade. They just crack me up.

Cats carry bacteria, and everyone knows bacteria can be harmful to everyone. My macaw used to groom my cats (the cats loved it). Birds also carry bacteria that can be harmful, even to cats! Cats even carry bacteria that is harmful to other cats!

And no...I'm not Obama's love child. I was having a nightmare. :P

LMAO!!! That insane penguin chick banned someone else! For an ACTUAL violation at that!

Everything I Need To Know...

2008-11-12T15:13:03Z

I learned from Noah's Ark.

1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

8. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9. When you're stressed, float a while.

10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Hope the rest of your week is wonderful.

Lucky Dog

2008-11-11T17:04:25Z

Go read about this beautiful rescued baby on my friend Valerie's page! Help if you can!!!

http://bluesgirly.livejournal.com/154600.html?view=2927592#t2927592

And the stupidity continues...

2008-11-11T16:35:54Z

http://community.livejournal.com/stupidpetowners/3196158.html?view=57102078#t57102078

I joined this forum because I thought these must surely be people with some intelligence, some modem of decency to defend abused animals. Instead I find a bunch of snobby, corn-holed bitches who jump on and verbally attack anyone with an opinion that differs from theirs. These are surely the type of women (children?) who dress their doggies and pet lizards up in pretty clothes and tote them around in little handbags. And the MOD? LMAO...someone else with a biased opinion of herself, her icon pic of herself with an animal mask covering her face and her boobs hanging out of the top of her toob top.

I asked a question of a person, age unknown, claiming to be a 'university graduate', who can't spell to save his/her life (wtf is a chiwawa?) regarding the confidentiality of an overheard conversation in a veterinarian's office and the fact that the subject of this person's rant had had the utter audacity to PURCHASE a puppy from a PET STORE! GASP! THE HORROR!!! Yeah, Ms. Penguinsane, NOW I'm being 'sarcastic'. I didn't think much of it, I just wondered why someone else's private conversation with her pet's doctor was privvy to all and sundry. I meant NO offense, but was greatly offended by others responding to my question.

Here is my question...

</a></font></b></a>juciest
2008-11-10 07:09 am (local) (link)

I'm sorry, I'm not taking up for the woman with the puppy...but WHY were you listening to the private conversation between this woman and the vet? Especially when YOUR vet visit was OVER already? MY vet has all of their furbaby owners sign PRIVACY statements (just like a PEOPLE DOCTOR) and while I'm sure you had concern for this woman's puppy, her dogs at home, her newborn pups, and the puppies she was picking up at the airport, do you know the entire situation? PERHAPS she runs a dog rescue...dog rehab...who are YOU to know? And who are you to judge?

Casstarted? Castrated? HUH? I'm just really confused, not only about why you felt any of this was your concern, but about the content of the posting itself. Geez, my dog has fleas, I give my dog a bath. I would hope some moron who felt my dog's fleas were their business wouldn't be so rash as to call the SPCA on me. And maybe I rescued that puppy from the pet store because I didn't want it put to death later because no one wanted it because the poor thing was from a "puppy mill". Poor puppy.

End of rant.

SPO indeed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Please tell me what was wrong with anything I said.

People had responded that the OP needed to find out who the woman was and report her to the SPCA! Because her dog had FLEAS!!! OMG, she has MORE dogs at home! And she's at the vet asking for flea preventative so her other dogs don't get fleas! AND, OMG, she's getting some "chiwawas" from the US! She's a HOARDER!!! She's a STUPID PET OWNER!!! She's a BREEDER!!! WTF is a BYB?

I was told I couldn't read, I was on my "high horse" and "uppity". I was cursed at. I was accused of being "pro-puppy mill" because I backed the post's subject for 'rescuing' the puppy from the pet store, and ALL pet stores ONLY sell puppies that are manufactured in PUPPY MILLS FOR GAWD'S SAKE!!! You know...I don't know of any puppy mills, in my area at least (thankfully), and all of the pet stores that I am familiar with (independent as well as chain) sell animals from local shelters and the SPCA and some will take unwanted puppies and kittens and put them up for adoption for a small fee. The OWNERS of the unwanted animals receive NO money for the sale of these animals. But no matter what I said, it was taken out of context, misread, twisted, and I was punched and stoned once again. I made the mistake of standing up for myself and Ms. Moderator jumped down my throat. All of MY posts were sarcastic and I was inciting the violence I so richly deserved...uh, huh? I asked a question . Some little smarmy bitch smarted off at me...I smarted off right back. I tend to be a little facetious at times. I'm NOT a sarcastic person. But it was all MY fault. Yeah, whatever. These people are so freaking retarded that they can't even read a timeline.

I was disrespected in almost every response I got. Yet when I had the audacity to point that out, this is the reponse I received:

</a></font></b></a>penguinsane
2008-11-11 09:42 am (local) (link)

People are on you because you're continually being sarcastic. If you had explained yourself in a respectful manner, people here would treat you much differently. And if not, I would definitely jump on THEM instead of you. Instead, you continued to bait people and are totally baffled with why they're acting the way they are. And I can definitely count more than three posts that hold "irritation."

But anyways, nice flounce. Here, I'll help you out. See ya!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

If I had explained myself in a respectful manner...hmmmm. I don't believe I was the one who said "learn to read, get off your high horse and stop being so uppity". I don't believe I was the one who said "missed the fucking point there miss". I was told by one retard who is not a moderator that I needed to leave because I didn't agree with her. I tried explaining that not all pet stores sell pets from 'puppy mills' and that animal rescues don't always have the funds to take in every animal that comes along. People who can't read except by picking out the easy words and jumping to conclusions trying to tell me what I said. Good Grief Charlie Brown.

I got kicked out. Waaah.

*snort*

Meme stolen from ayoub!!!

2008-11-08T14:57:21Z

1. What is your occupation right now?
I am a registered nurse, currently on leave/in limbo due to the damage Hurricane Ike caused to my hospital.

2. What colour are your socks right now?
I'm barefoot.

3. What are you listening to right now?
the sound of the ceiling fan, my fingers clicking on the keyboard, and Callie's tags jingling and she runs around the house.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
I don't remember...a tootsie roll pop I think, while I was reading in bed last night.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Oh hell yeah, I can drive a stick, a three on a tree, and an 18 wheeler.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
I don't remember, either my mom or a bill collector calling me about a third-party hospital charge that should have been paid last Feb.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
No one sent it to me, I ganked it from ayoub .

8. How old are you today?
Guess...right now I feel older than I am, but usually people tell me I look much younger. Stress really sucks.

10. What is your favourite drink?
Depends on if we're talking alcoholic or non.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Isn't all hair dead? lmao

12. Favourite food?
Thai!

13. What is the last movie you watched?
Get Smart

14. Favourite day of the year?
I'm not sure I really have a favorite.

15. How do you vent anger?
Usually by running my mouth, and if I can't do that, I end up crying.

16. What was your favourite toy as a child?
My mini VW Bug that Daddy got me. He also bought a working locomotive engine that I just loved, the lights worked and it blew smoke from the stack.

17. What is your favourite season?
Spring and Autumn.

18. Cherries or Blueberries?
I like them both, but as far as blueberries, I prefer wild over cultivated.

19. Do you want your friends to ~~e-mail you back~~ fill this out?
Have at it if you will.

20. Who is the most likely to respond?
No idea.

21. Who is least likely to respond?
Again, no idea...probably everyone...lol

22. Living arrangements?
With my kids and animals.

23. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday...my book was sad.

24. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes, boxes, I dunno.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?
No one...I'm not sending it to anyone.

26. What did you do last night?
Watched a movie with my son and read a book (well, finished one and started another).

27. What are you most afraid of?
Dying alone.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburger?
Cheese...unless it's a Tookie's Bean Burger. I wonder if they're going to open Tookie's back up, it was pretty badly damaged in the hurricane.

29. Favourite dog breed?
I love most dogs...I have a Pomeranian, recently lost my Dachshund (he was such a good puppy), and I like Shelties, Sheepdogs, Mastiffs, Boxers, Bassets...I just love dogs.

30. Favourite day of the week?
Saturday.

31. How many states have you lived in?
Two.

32. Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls are my birthstone, and I have many. Diamonds aren't bad, I have them too.

33. What is your favourite flower?
Orchids and Hibiscus...and passionflowers, and clematis, and mandevilla, and jasmine...

Hmmmm...

2008-11-02T22:43:05Z

newsbusters.org/blogs/warner-todd-huston/2008/10/14/obama-pushed-our-kids-lit-textbook

And here I was upset because my son's second grade homework consisted of worksheets on Obama and McCain accompanied by booklets on each candidate. Obama's appeared glorifying while McCain's seemed rather discriminatory. What 'service to the people' has Obama accomplished in his three years in the Senate? His wife is a lawyer...so what? That makes him 'the man for the job'? John's been divorced...and? Who hasn't? Oh, I'm sorry, Obama hasn't. Has he? What does Cindy McCain's ties to her father's beer fortune have to do with John's ability to manage the country? Each booklet included a paragraph on the vice presidential candiates as well; Biden's spoke of his 'service to the people' (huh?) and Palin's only spoke of her desire to drill Alaskan oil.

Geez.

These are second-graders. I don't think they really give a rats ass about who's running for president at this moment in time.

I'm all for Cindy McCain and the beer...party on doods.

And I have had to put air in these tires...

2008-10-30T13:55:55Z

Seriously.

I love my Ham. And yes, his wife knows...lol

He's got to be the cutest damn blues man I know and his wife is a fruitcake but I luvs her anyway!

OOPS...I almost forgot. The red box guitar he's playing in the video was handmade by Bo Diddley and given to Ham as a gift about five years ago. It's one of his most prized possessions and he's been travelling with it since Bo died.

Does this sound like someone we know???

2008-08-02T23:48:22Z

Someone sent this to me, I don't want to say who it was, I'm sure she'd rather I didn't reveal her sn. But thanks!!! I so needed a laugh today!

http://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/778283391.html

Clicky the cut to read...it's hilarious, and it sounds just like him. Poor poor girl, I feel so sorry for her. (And no, I didn't write it.)

*snort*

email this posting to a friend houston craigslist > rants & raves

please flag with care:

miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist

Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities

Dear Bitchy Fat Boy, TAKE A SHOWER! (Houston)

Reply to: pers-778283391@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-31, 9:50PM CDT

The first and second time I met you, I was repulsed. By the third time I met you, I was lonely and my woman-hood was getting dry, so I gave it a go.

I realize now that cuddling my Pound Puppies pillow at night and working myself over with a dildo three or four times a day would have been a much cleaner, more rewarding option.

I guess I should have first realized what a bitch you were when I reached over to MY car radio and switched the station, only to witness you dramatically throw yourself against the car window and let out a long sigh. After I asked you what was wrong you stated that you were not going to talk to me for the rest of the night. Seriously?... Seriously?! It was Matchbox 20. Seriously!!

And maybe I should have realized what a bitch you were when you insisted on ordering ten special, customized menu items from a fast-food restaurant that is notorious for getting orders wrong. Then you didn't even check all ten of your customized menu items for accuracy before we left. Instead, you sat perched up in my passenger seat like an overfed, unkept poodle and whined all the way home that you would be just so upset if your order was wrong. Sure enough, Bitchy Fat Boy-Genius, your order was WRONG! And how did you take care of this notably serious issue? Well, you did what any Bitchy Fat Boy of your caliber would do. You threw yourself a good old-fashioned temper-tantrum. Chalk full of foot stomping, obnoxious whining and about two minutes of vowing to just not eat at all. Then as I sat there staring at you, completely disgusted and confused as to why the fuck I was even there, you reached over, picked up one of the un-compromised menu items and stuffed your bitchy fat face.

And probably the bitchiest of your fat bitchiness would come when you and I indulged in friendly rounds of witty banter. You could sure dish it out, and I was so please to spit it right back at you. This is an exercise my girlfriends and I practice on a regular basis. No one gets their feelings hurt. It's all in good fun. So why, oh why Bitchy Fat Boy, could you, a boy, not refrain from completely breaking down and pouting only after my first attempt to show you just how witty I can be? Is it quite possible that I, along with every other female I know, have bigger balls than you, a Bitchy Fat Boy?

And I guess I could have been for-warned the first (and last) time I went down on you, that you had not taken a shower since the previous day. Even though you spent the previous evening working. You and I both know your balls stay a permanent sweaty and sticky all the while you lazily make money at your place of business. I still, however, went down. And even as I was thinking to myself I'd rather have my mouth and nose stuck up against a pile of elephant dung, I kept my thoughts and gag reflexes to a minimum. I am a champ!! I can do this... Then I tasted your pre-cum. I pulled away and never re-visited funky town. I am almost positive you had ten year old calcium deposits in the midst of your gentlemen swimmers and they were looking to escape right out onto my tongue.

I love giving oral sex, even more than the next lady. I enjoy the taste of a man, and I've even been told I am pretty good at it. But you, Bitchy Fat Boy, never got to experience the supreme goodness of my hungry mouth, and yes, I noticed you were upset about it. You asked for it all the time, and all the while, I objected. I appreciate the many times you so diligently lapped at my CLEAN snatch, just hoping maybe, just maybe it would be on this night I was not selfish. But, Bitchy Fat Boy, even after so many of my subtle hints, you still NEVER took a SHOWER!

So yes, I was selfish. However, there was so much more I did for you. Like when you rammed your insignificant organ so clumsily into me that my body made a nice comfortable home in the crack between your bed and the wall. You never seemed to notice or to even care that my body was slowly slipping away from yours. Okay, that's understandable. After all, I could tell you were hard at work, humping, drilling and grunting all over the place. I never wanted to interrupt your shameful display of love making, so I loudly laid there gasping for air each time your 300+ pound body came slamming into my pelvis. I even faked an orgasm or ten for you.

I also climbed on top of your bountiful body many a time, so determined this time was going to be it, I was going to ride myself pleasantly to an orgasm. Unfortunately, I never felt your bitchy cock inside me. I was almost envious of the way you panted and moaned with pleasure as you came for the second time in minutes. Why couldn't I feel you inside me, Bitchy Fat Boy? And why couldn't you give me even just one orgasm? I eventually just said the hell with it, and I faked ten more for you.

Also, how about the time you had me naked on your bed and as you were about to lay your massive body on top of mine, you excused yourself to take a twenty minute dump? I patiently laid there for fifteen minutes, embarrassed for the both of us, before I got up and put my clothes back on. When you returned from what I so much hoped was not a twenty minute dump, but instead a shower, you announced that you had, in fact, taken a dump. Then you got upset with me because I had already gotten dressed. Come on, Bitchy Fat Boy. SERIOUSLY?

So, I guess you won. You got all the orgasms and the pleasure. You even got to be the one to dump me!! All the while, being a lazy fuck and never really bothering to keep yourself clean and respectful for me. Congratulations. Dating you was the dirtiest, nastiest, most stomach turning, body-aching three weeks of my life. Yes, indeed, congratulations Bitchy Fat Boy.

Just do your next girlfriend a favor and TAKE A SHOWER!

Location: Houston
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 778283391

Meme me time!!!!

2008-06-26T17:54:18Z

Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done.
See if anybody else responds with "I've done that."
Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.

Posted first on

serene_orange's journal.

I'm sure there are others who have done the same things I have...I can't really think of anything unusual or outstanding. Except maybe raising butterflies, and holding mating butterflies in my hand...lol

1) I've delivered many babies, without the presence of a doctor. I almost delivered my first baby when I was 11, in the back seat of my grandmother's car...thankfully my cousin was butt breach.

2) I was the nurse that called the time of death for my father.

3) I have been in motor vehicle accidents on four different occasions involving tractor-trailer trucks; first one fell asleep, speeding, and rear-ended me, crushing my brand new F-150 Supercab (my oldest daughter was two at the time, in the back seat and didn't have a scratch on her, I sustained severe neck and back injuries, broken teeth, and a nearly severed ear), second one t-boned me speeding and running a red light (was in brain injury rehab for two years), third one I was rear-ended by a car and pushed into and partially under a semi, fourth one hit me head on and broke my leg in two places. And I'm still alive. My husband wanted me to go on his last trip with him, the one he died in...but I couldn't go. If I had, he'd probably still be alive.

I guess it's more than six...and more to go

2008-06-26T04:08:56Z

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (more times than I can remember)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (couple of times)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (so...dark)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (six or seven times)
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (Sonnets, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth, Twelfth Night, The Tempest)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (about 6 times)
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (probably a dozen times)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (so much the book fell apart)
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (Yes, I did, ONCE)
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (4 or 5 times...and to my kids)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (I have the collection and have read it several times)
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (uh, isn't that part of The Chronicles?)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (many many times)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (this is probably the only John Irving book I haven't read)
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (twice I think)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (I read part of this but didn't finish)
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (in the seventh grade, probably 3 times)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (such a boring book)
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (2 or 3 times)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (many many times)
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (maybe 3 or 4 times)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (too many times)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White (a constant repeat throughout my childhood)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (and the sequel "Tales from Watership Down", so many many times)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (Yes, I thought it was funny, and have even read it to my kids)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (maybe 3 times)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

You know you're a nurse when...

2008-06-25T13:13:28Z

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs".

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.

You've seen this a million times and you still think it's true.

I'm sorry...this was just too funny

2008-06-19T03:26:39Z

You kinda have to center it to watch...but it just made me bust out laughing. My friend TJ sent it to me. He knew I needed some cheering up...lmao

Going with the flow...

2008-06-13T04:34:33Z

...and following in the path of karlitaand her 'friday four' birthday questions...

How many people that share your birthday do you know personally?
I have a friend, Audrey, my sister from another mister, who shares my birthday with me, same day, same year, but she's about 10 hours older than I am. AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!!!! I can't think of anyone else I know personally who shares my birthday.

Do you share your birthday with anyone famous?
I share my birthday with gangster John Dillinger, designer Bill Blass, actor/singer Kris Kristofferson, actress Meryl Streep, actress Lindsay Wagner, tv journalist Ed Bradley, actor Ralph Waite, musician Todd Rundgren, singer Cyndi Lauper, tv personality Carson Daly, actress Amy Brenneman, actor Freddie Prinze, author Dan Brown, director Billy Wilder, producer Joseph Papp, and singer/musician Barry Hutchens, singer/musician Mike Edwards, singer/musician Steven Page, singer Roy Drusky, and QB Kurt Warner. I'm sure there are many others...I just now learned of a few of these I didn't know about...lol

Edited...Oooh, I just Wiki'd my bday...there's bunches more. How could I possibly miss Clyde 'The Glide' Drexler and Garry Gary Beers???

My birthday is National Chocolate Eclair Day. And also the Pagan holiday Litha. The Pledge of Allegiance was recognized by Congress on my birthday in 1942, the GI Bill was signed into law in 1944, and the US Department of Justice was established.

What was the best birthday present you ever GAVE someone?
Best birthday present I ever gave anyone? Oh, I'm blushing.

How are you coping with getting older?
Coping with getting older. Eh. It happens. I am losing weight and trying to get healthier...so I guess that's a plus.

I thought I'd get 100% as well.

2008-06-12T16:04:56Z

Neither of my parents are/were from Texas, my father was from Vermont (but claimed transplanted-Texan status as he got here as fast as he could) and my mother is from Kansas. Me...I've lived here all my life, unless you subtract those two miserable years I spent in Michigan.

Ganked from puffdoggydaddy...cuz he's so gankable.

2008-06-11T15:34:13Z

And I don't know why I can't freaking post stuff without the stupid scroll bars!!!!!

I'm so smart...na na na nee doo doo!

2008-06-10T20:23:43Z

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But...on a good note...

2008-06-05T23:00:01Z

I won a key to the Harley that The Buzz is giving away next month.

That's something, isn't it?